Delivered from an Abusive Past
The day God created me, he fashioned me after his image. There was also evil raging for my soul but evil did not prevail against me because Mercy said NO!
I was born one of twins in a little village in Ghana, of parents who were not married. My mother tried to abort me but God stepped in. Death was desperate for me but God had the final word. I would have high fevers and convulse to the point of death almost every other week. At age two, I was sent to live with my father and his mistress. His mistress refused to have me and my twin so we were sent to live with my auntie. There I was taken to church every Sunday and accepted Jesus Christ. Jesus appeared to me and was beckoning me to come to him. He had a white garment and there was a white cloud around him.
Just as I was enjoying my new family and security, I was sent back to live with my father now married to his mistress.
I grew up feeling rejected and lonely. I would cry myself to sleep wondering why my mother left me. When I was 9 years old my cousin tried to abuse me sexually but failed. Our maid servant tried to get a neighbour's child to abuse me sexually but failed. Sadly, at the age of 15, my father succeeded in abusing me sexually. It was a shock to me because I trusted him and did not understand why. I lost trust; I concluded that no-one loved me. This abuse continued weekly until I was 19yrs old. I would run to night clubs and smoke and drink to escape this torment. One day I decide to take my own life. I took a knife and hid it under my pillow and waited for everyone to go to bed. But as I was about to do it, I heard a voice saying "do not do it."
Over the years I entered into my own shell and I became cold and could not express myself. I attracted bullies and lost confidence. I felt weighed down and condemned. I suffered shame and guilt for what had happened to me and I would hide from everyone. I felt people would see what was inside me and what I had gone through. I felt everything was wrong in my life and could not get out of feeling worthless and useless. I felt everything w as against me and I could not get out of this dark hole that I was in. I married and attracted an abusive husband who controlled me with his anger and rage. He would throw plates up in the air, hit the ironing board and put so much terror in me. I would be afraid and terrified every time I heard a door open and him coming indoors. For years, because of the rejection, abandonment, the hurt and the deep wounds in my heart and soul, I stopped sleeping. I would wake up in the night about six times and look for something to eat to comfort my soul. I became more and more depressed and would not wash for three days. I would lie in the couch, try to get up to do some cooking and then come back and lie down. I could not get myself in the bathtub. I was just so weighed down. I hated myself and felt like dung. Even though I was told by everyone that I had a pretty face I was so down. My children would insult me and I could not get out of this mess.
Even though I have been a Christian for years, how did this all change? I believe change came when the anointing upon the Woman of God came into contact with my circumstances and situation. The crunch came when I discovered that my husband had adopted a child without my knowledge and I took a stand and spoke to someone who directed me to Pastor Suzanne. I had come to the end of my rope and I had to get out of this hell hole. I was so desperate for love that I did not mind how I was treated as long as I had that love. God sent me a person who had the anointing of Christ necessary to deliver me from my situation. She became a mother and mentor who counseled with me, prayed for, encouraged me and told me I could be free. Many people have let me down and I was very skeptical but I found it in my heart to trust her. In such a short space of time I have been delivered from my past. She showed me how only God can love me unconditionally and that I was worth loving. I now know that I am loved and beautiful in His eyes. In less than half a year, I have regained my confidence and self esteem and now my family is treating me with love and respect. I am no longer afraid of my husband walking out on me. I have a new name now that even my husband uses as well. My husband refers to me as ‘My love’. He now respects my opinions and I now count in the family. I am unafraid and bold now because of what God has done in my life. Praise be to God!
Delivered,
Milton Keynes, UK
To order a copy of her book titled “Breaking Free from an Abusive Past” for £10 incl. post & packaging Telephone 0870-8503798 or email info@oewm.org.uk
I was born one of twins in a little village in Ghana, of parents who were not married. My mother tried to abort me but God stepped in. Death was desperate for me but God had the final word. I would have high fevers and convulse to the point of death almost every other week. At age two, I was sent to live with my father and his mistress. His mistress refused to have me and my twin so we were sent to live with my auntie. There I was taken to church every Sunday and accepted Jesus Christ. Jesus appeared to me and was beckoning me to come to him. He had a white garment and there was a white cloud around him.
Just as I was enjoying my new family and security, I was sent back to live with my father now married to his mistress.
I grew up feeling rejected and lonely. I would cry myself to sleep wondering why my mother left me. When I was 9 years old my cousin tried to abuse me sexually but failed. Our maid servant tried to get a neighbour's child to abuse me sexually but failed. Sadly, at the age of 15, my father succeeded in abusing me sexually. It was a shock to me because I trusted him and did not understand why. I lost trust; I concluded that no-one loved me. This abuse continued weekly until I was 19yrs old. I would run to night clubs and smoke and drink to escape this torment. One day I decide to take my own life. I took a knife and hid it under my pillow and waited for everyone to go to bed. But as I was about to do it, I heard a voice saying "do not do it."
Over the years I entered into my own shell and I became cold and could not express myself. I attracted bullies and lost confidence. I felt weighed down and condemned. I suffered shame and guilt for what had happened to me and I would hide from everyone. I felt people would see what was inside me and what I had gone through. I felt everything was wrong in my life and could not get out of feeling worthless and useless. I felt everything w as against me and I could not get out of this dark hole that I was in. I married and attracted an abusive husband who controlled me with his anger and rage. He would throw plates up in the air, hit the ironing board and put so much terror in me. I would be afraid and terrified every time I heard a door open and him coming indoors. For years, because of the rejection, abandonment, the hurt and the deep wounds in my heart and soul, I stopped sleeping. I would wake up in the night about six times and look for something to eat to comfort my soul. I became more and more depressed and would not wash for three days. I would lie in the couch, try to get up to do some cooking and then come back and lie down. I could not get myself in the bathtub. I was just so weighed down. I hated myself and felt like dung. Even though I was told by everyone that I had a pretty face I was so down. My children would insult me and I could not get out of this mess.
Even though I have been a Christian for years, how did this all change? I believe change came when the anointing upon the Woman of God came into contact with my circumstances and situation. The crunch came when I discovered that my husband had adopted a child without my knowledge and I took a stand and spoke to someone who directed me to Pastor Suzanne. I had come to the end of my rope and I had to get out of this hell hole. I was so desperate for love that I did not mind how I was treated as long as I had that love. God sent me a person who had the anointing of Christ necessary to deliver me from my situation. She became a mother and mentor who counseled with me, prayed for, encouraged me and told me I could be free. Many people have let me down and I was very skeptical but I found it in my heart to trust her. In such a short space of time I have been delivered from my past. She showed me how only God can love me unconditionally and that I was worth loving. I now know that I am loved and beautiful in His eyes. In less than half a year, I have regained my confidence and self esteem and now my family is treating me with love and respect. I am no longer afraid of my husband walking out on me. I have a new name now that even my husband uses as well. My husband refers to me as ‘My love’. He now respects my opinions and I now count in the family. I am unafraid and bold now because of what God has done in my life. Praise be to God!
Delivered,
Milton Keynes, UK
To order a copy of her book titled “Breaking Free from an Abusive Past” for £10 incl. post & packaging Telephone 0870-8503798 or email info@oewm.org.uk